Busting the Breast

"LYRICS"

Busting the Breast
The Illustrated Canadian Songbook

One very hot day in the summer one year
A woman was walking through Guelph.
She saw bare chested men enjoying the sun
And said: I think I'll do that myself.
So she paused in her stroll to take off her top
And then, much to her disgust,
A passing policeman told her to stop
And said: Young woman, this is a bust!

Why are we busting the breast? This simply must be addressed.
Why make an issue of mammary tissue, and why are we busting the breast?

Then hundreds of women all took up her cause
They heard she was going to court.
They said: This is a fight for topless rights
And she's going to need our support!
So they marched in protest, all baring their breasts
And saying: The law is an ass!
Enduring the cries of hundreds of guys
Who descended with cameras, en masse, singing:

Why are we busting the breast? This simply must be addressed.
Why make an issue of mammary tissue and why are we busting the breast?

The judge concerned said: What must be learned,
And what this court must decide
Is: how much of the body, no matter which gender,
Society requires us to hide.
This may seem frivolous at first sight
But in fact it's a serious charge.
Because men also have breasts
And in some cases they are quite large

Why are we busting the breast? This simply must be addressed.
Why make an issue of mammary tissue and why are we busting the breast?

Then the judge handed down a ruling, and here it is:

It's the law, not the breast, that must be redressed
Which led to this woman's wrongful arrest
And started her off on her legal quest
To prove that she had been oppressed
By a law which simply had not progressed:
It's no crime to bare your breast.

Why are we busting the breast? As a mammal I don't understand.
If there's a part of the body that does only good, it's the mammary gland!

We often compare ourselves with the U.S.
And often they come out the best.
But they only have the right to bear arms
And we have the right to bare breasts.
I'm glad that they weren't convicted -
That would have been a bummer.
I'm glad that justice triumphed,
And I'm glad every summer

We're no longer busting the breast - I'm glad we got that off our chest
Why make an issue of mammary tissue? We're no longer busting the breast!